Let's pretend
by Spektor vox
Summary: After living all their life with their abusive father felicaino and lovino finally have a chance at a normal life after moving to america but memories don't fade that easily, scars don't heal that quickly and powers don't just disappear. definite gerita and spamano highschool AU and rated M for violence and other messed up stuff...
1. Chapter 1

_Feliciano often remembers the screaming..._

At school he was a model student.

Smiley, happy

Nobody knew. Nobody had to know

Nobody would ever know anything about them.

He pretended that he didn't have the gift and it was because of that his roman catholic father praised him and showered him in attention

His brother on the other hand, he had revealed his powers by pure accident

Lovino had killed that man.

The tall brown haired man, with murderous black eyes had wanted them both dead that night, who knows what two middle school students were doing out at that night, but they wanted no trouble

That man however had been searching for kids like them and was unwilling to let them go when he found them.

Lovino had panicked and used his gift to tear the man apart from his torso, enough so that the police had no idea who he was when they found the body that their father had carefully hidden.

The man had not done it because he loved his son, no.

He had done it so he could _'heal him'_

And what's where all the screaming came from

Padre would force Lovino to eat pills and inject him with drugs just to get him docile enough so that he could lock Lovino in a room filled with holy objects and tell him to pray and repent

Feliciano tried to ignore it like his brother told him t on those dark nights where he would sneak into the older boys room but it was unbearable

All the screaming

All the cries that emanated from that dark room

He didn't want to be thrown in there.

Sometimes he could see the wind picking up outside as Lovino threw himself against the door and cried in Arabic

_"let me out you fucker, let me out of here right now!"_

But padre wouldn't notice, he would just whisper to the door "hush now child, you will soon be healed..."

Eventually Lovino would stop banging

That was the part that scared Feliciano the most because that was when he couldn't sense anything from his brother

The first few times he thought the older boy was dead and had left him alone with the monster and he would be forced to live a lie

But every time, padre would open the door hours later and Lovino would either walk out sluggishly or be carried out with his hands soaked red with blood. Because he had been trying so hard to escape without using his powers.

Feliciano felt like it was all his fault, if he wasn't there then Lovino could have escaped already

So he cut his arms to ribbons.

The cutting made him feel like he was in control

Even though he wasn't

It made him feel free because nobody stopped him

But it also made him feel guilty...

Then that day came.

The day that shattered everything

It was all Feliciano's fault

They were having dinner...

* * *

...oOo...

Feliciano smiled

"So did anything good or interesting happen today?" the 14 year old asked in Italian

"Nothing" Lovino mumbled

"Someone ate my cupcake at work which was quite annoying" padre smiled "it turns out it was Wang and he had asked before he did so"

Everything was normal

Feliciano reached over to grab the salt

_Why couldn't he have asked?_

His knife was pushed off the table as he reached over and the teenager gasped

Lovino didn't even blink, he just stared at it as it fell towards the floor...

The knife paused just before it touched the ground

Then the air went cold

Feliciano quickly picked up the knife

"oopsie" he smiled

Hoping that his padre didn't notice

But if he hadn't seen it he must have definitely heard it

"Get up" the man said angrily slamming his hand on the table

"No" Lovino said his eyes filling with fear

"I said get up right now!" the man exclaimed striding over and grabbing the teenager by his shirt before starting to drag him towards that dark room

"Stop it, just pleas _stop it!_" Feliciano exclaimed in Italian

He didn't want to hear the screams anymore

"Let go of me!" Lovino exclaimed as his nono dragged him towards the door

The man was about to throw him in but then froze as the lights started to flicker and the earth began to shake

"Let go of him!" Feliciano exclaimed firmly

The plates and everything else started to explode

The cutlery danced through the air

"You—"

That was all he got out before one of the knives promptly stabbed him through the throat and lodged itself in the wall behind him

Padre then gave him a strange look of fear but Feliciano didn't want to see it

He never wanted to see this man ever again

The other pieces of sharp cutlery all hurtled towards the man but this time his body was dragged into the room and within moments he was no longer a man

Just an ornament on that stupid cross he had hung up in that dark, dark room.

Feliciano and his brother stood there in silence for a while before they both burst into tears.

It was far from ok but at least now he would never bother them again.

* * *

...oOo...

The police couldn't figure out what happened

There was no evidence that Feliciano or Lovino had committed the murder and since they both refused to say anything other than

"I promised not to tell"

Of course they had promised each other

The case anent cold

They moved countries to live with their nono

They moved on with their lives

Or tried to

Feliciano could still hear his brother in the dead of night crying or screaming in his sleep because of he horrible nightmares

Nono would try to calm him down but it never worked...

They tried giving him medicine but that made it worse, anything they made him eat or injected him with made it much _much _worse.

Feli got up and walked into his brothers room

"Feli get the needle!" his nono would cry but Feliciano would just stand there

Soon enough the old man got the message, let him scream.

There was no way to stop it, no matter what anyone did Lovino would always remember that room...

Always.

* * *

...oOo...

Lovino stepped into his new classroom awkwardly

He didn't like the idea of going to an actual school but his therapist said he's be ok...maybe

"Ok class, this is Lovino and Feliciano Vargas" the teacher smiled energetically

She was also the schools guidance councillor, something their nono probably asked for

"Ve~ ciao" Feliciano smiled but Lovino stayed quiet

_Don't talk unless spoken to._

"Lovino don't you want to greet the class?"

"No thank you"

_Don't be rude_

_Never make eye contact_

"oh, well your seats are over there" the teacher stated pointing at the back of the class

"thank you~" Feliciano gushed happily but Lovino stayed quiet

"Fratello you should try talking to people and being nice, we're not in Italy anymore," his brother said in Italian keeping his cheery voice

He knew nobody here spoke the language because nobody reacted the appropriate way to that strange sentence

"Shut up" Lovino said simply in English before switching languages "I can't stand that stupid face of yours anymore"

His got Feliciano's face to fall

"Please?" Feliciano asked which everyone seemed to understand

So they were Spanish students.

"Whatever" Lovino said taking the window seat and staring intently outwards

He had spent days in Italy looking forwards in the curriculum because his padre wouldn't give him any roper reading material, and school was for _"real children"_

Lovino bit his bottom lip

Don't think badly of me, ever.

* * *

...oOo...

Feliciano sighed as class ended

"Anyone want to show our new students around?" the teacher asked as everyone tried to put away their things in a hurry

"Ja, I'll do it" a blonde asked

At this Lovino looked up and scowled

He hated blondes, especially the German kind.

His father used to consult a German priest in their area on how to _'heal him'_

"Actually I think I can find my own way around" Feliciano said realising his brothers glare

"Nonsense the campus is very big and—" Ludwig insisted but Feliciano cut him off

"No, it's ok really" the cheery Italian said, "this isn't the first time I've moved schools and besides I have a good memory so I'll be able to remember"

"Just go on" Lovino said in Italian glaring up at his brother "but I'm not coming with you, I'll just stay here since we've got you next class here"

Feliciano gave his brother a look

"Ve, ok then" he nodded "I'll go along but he says he'll just say here for break time"

"Ok then" the German nodded "I am Ludwig Beilschmidt" the German said formally putting out his hand

"You already know my name~" Feliciano smiled not shaking the Germans hand but instead passing him and heading for the door

_Don't make friends, they'll never understand_

"have fun" miss Elizabeta smiled as the pair left the room and almost all of her other students followed

She then glanced worriedly at Lovino

* * *

...oOo...

_(flashback)_

"miss Elizabeta Héderváry I would like you to meet Romulus Vargas" the head teacher smiled

Elizabeta stood and shook the man's hand "it's your kids who are transferring to our academy" she smiled

"Ve" the man nodded "I wouldn't leave them alone usually but I have to attend to some work in a different country and it would be unwise and problematic to move them around with me" he sighed

"So what is it that you wanted to discuss?" she asked

She had already seen the boy's files

Lovino was a bad one, he had incidences of violence, lashing out , he was schizophrenic and he also seemed to be making a very slow recovery from a very traumatic and scarring experience

Feliciano but however seemed to have gotten over the entire ordeal but seemed unwilling to leave his brother and had a bad habit of cutting.

"Lovino and Feliciano of course" the man said "I'm assuming you've read their files?" he asked

The councillor nodded

"Yes well, Lovino its worth warning you that Lovino gets angry over certain things like, touching or even if you give him positive attention, and Feliciano seems to despise it altogether"

"I see" Elizabeta nodded

"also he'll need his own room because in the middle of the night he'll start screaming and crying in Arabic and even if you translate what he says it won't make any sense"

The guidance councillor then frowned

"and if he starts to scream don't stop him and definitely don't try to give him anything, he has a high tolerance to any drugs you can give him and he'll just start screaming more and more and when morning comes and he's exhausted himself he'll refuse to do anything or leave his bed"

"So we can't help him" Elizabeta questioned

"No..." Romulus said quite sadly "oh and Feliciano too"

"He likes to cut himself"

The man nodded

"You also can't trust his face, he may smile a lot and seem like he's doing fine but he's just play acting. At the beginning of class they'll do this thing where they start to speak in Italian and check if anyone else speaks it just so that they can confirm that they have some privacy"

"Privacy?" the head teacher questioned

"So they can talk freely to each other, Lovino won't talk to other people and hates to resort to English"

Elizabeta once again nodded and then wondered if she should be taking notes

"What do I do if Lovino lashes out?" she asked

"get Feliciano" Romulus said "the boy freezes if his brother starts to scream in his sleep or talk in Arabic but if he's attacking another student then Feliciano will be able to pry him away easily while if anyone else attempts Lovino will turn his fury on them...physically he's quite a strong person"

"May I ask how his grades are?" the head teacher asked

"they are quite good despite the fact he never seems to pay attention in class, he went to a special school not too long back and although he didn't pay attention like the other students he did manage to get the best grades"

"Are there any sensitive subjects I should warn other students about?" Elizabeta asked, "to avoid any unnecessary break downs or outs?"

"Don't talk specifically about their parents" Romulus stated "their mother died a long time ago and their father...I-I _never _understood that man"

The last part was said in a quiet tone

"Well we'll be happy to welcome your grandsons to our school next week" the head teacher said after clearing his throat

"Yes, and I'll take a note of all that you've told me" Elizabeta smiled

"thank you" Romulus said before getting up to leave

* * *

...oOo...

(now)

Elizabeta sighed

"I'll be back in 3 minutes" she stated to Lovino who didn't look up at her but said the word

"Noted" in a simple and formal tone

Elizabeta gathered her things and left before closing the door behind her so nobody else would enter thinking it was locked (becauseif it wasn't she always kept her door open during break and lunch as well as after school

_'What strange boys'_ she thought as she headed down to her office

...oOo...

* * *

**I remember writing another story like this but that escalated into something weird (that I didn't intend)**

**It's almost Halloween and I'm excited for the new move version of Carrie which will be coming out soon so I thought I'd write this**

**Also, I FINALLY got my internet back and I've decided that I won't unhiatus all my stories at once but rather do them one by one because schools almost over (for half term) and I'll finally be able to concentrate enough to do steady updates :D**

**Review and I'll me a happy camper**

**Panda. Out**

ヽ(●´∀｀●)ノ


	2. Chapter 2

Gloves.

Black leather gloves were the first thing that Antonio noticed on one of the new students, he always wore them and never said why

The other also had a wristband which he seemed to never remove...

He was one of the 'popular kids' in school so miss Elizabeta had asked him to make sure nobody pressed Feliciano or Lovino on their parents and that they at least made one friend

He hadn't had to look far to find the two

At lunch they both sat alone in the classroom speaking in Italian and eating a lunch that the school hadn't prepared

It seems to be Italian food most of the time but sometimes it was food from all around the world

The Spaniard dared not intrude in their lunchtime of course

He knew that they knew that he was there but for some reason he couldn't bring himself to enter and sit down with them

It was the same fro Ludwig too

The tight freshman had become best friends with Feliciano but when he hooked onto his brother Ludwig seemed to lose all the careful attention Feliciano gave him and was completely shut out, so instead the German went to sit with Kiku at their usual table and for a while they jus pretended the twins didn't exist...

Or that's what Antonio thought anyway.

Their investigation started early on in the school year.

And everyone knew it was Gilbert who started it

He had made his friends come and sit with Kiku and Ludwig (which wasn't peculiar in itself) but then he had lowered his voice and promptly said

"Don't any of you find it strange?"

That had gotten everyone else quiet and interested

The loud-and annoying- Gilbert never talked in a suitable tone

"What?" Francis promptly questioned

"Those twins or brothers" Gilbert said "I mean I heard Lovino was meant to be in our year but was moved down so he could be with his brother"

"I know" Francis nodded "I saw a single note from Elizabeth's case file for Feliciano...frisky I think the word is in English" the parisan stated "they've got a lot of problems"

"You read their case file?" Ludwig said disapprovingly

"it was a single note from the case file!" Francis said firmly "I won't divulge on some of the very interesting things Feliciano is hiding but I will say that they both apparently went through a very traumatic event a few years ago"

"their father was murdered" Kiku broke in which earned him some looks "my brother and his dad both worked on the police force, my brother transferred there in a program or something and stayed for a few months" the Japanese kid stated

"And..." Gilbert pressed

"and their father was murdered, apparently he was hung up in a prayer room like a decoration of some sort, the prayer room wasn't strange considering the man was a strict catholic but what was strange was that the police found no traces of fingerprints or anything on the knives used to pin him to the wall and Feliciano and Lovino would only say 'I promised not to tell"

"That's freaky" Antonio shook

"Yea but not as _'freaky' _as the person who was ripped apart in their area"

"Ripped apart?" Ludwig inquired

"Just pulled apart from the centre and left as a pile of flesh, the police couldn't even identify the body because all the teeth were missing and they couldn't tell any of the parts apart from each other because even their insides were ripped apart"

"Scary" Antonio shook

"But isn't it also interesting" Gilbert said excitedly

"No Gilbert" Francis said simply

"But, listen. Maybe they know something or are hiding something big" Gilbert stated "I mean how else could they have pulled something like that off"

"Gilbert!" Ludwig snapped

"What? It's obvious" Gilbert snorted, "I just want to do a simple investigation where the findings are kept a complete secret no matter how bad they are"

"...I say we do it" Antonio said after a few moments of thought "but the findings are kept secret"

There was a longer pause as the more sensible of the group thought it over

"Ok then...but let's not go crazy" Ludwig said simply.

Kiku simply nodded

"If anyone asks I was never a part of this" Francis stated.

* * *

**...oOo...**

Gilbert and Antonio both looked down at the Vargas twin's apartment

They had bugged the entire place (with the help of a certain Estonian and a ninja like Japanese boy) and were now just watching and waiting

Antonio kept looking through the binoculars

Ludwig and Francis were hearing everything that was going on from their room and recording it so it could be translated later.

Why are we watching them again?" Antonio asked impatiently

"So we know more about what they talk about and who they are as people," Gilbert stated

"Fratello?" Feliciano said softly as he and his brother set out the table for dinner

Their dorm room was different from others, having a better kitchen facility and two very separate bedrooms, one of which were soundproof.

"Yes?" Lovino said in English

It was strange because they had been speaking Italian up until then

"What do you think about Ludwig and Kiku?" it was an innocent question

"I don't really like the potato fucker, but the Japanese one's ok"

Antonio snickered but Gilbert glared

"Oh" Feliciano said in a disheartened tone

"Don't let that stop you making friends" Lovino said simply eating some more of his dinner

"But if fratello doesn't like them then there's really no point as to—"

"I don't really like anyone because I I can't understand people very well..." Lovino trailed off before standing and closing his eyes

"What?" Feliciano questioned with slight panic in his voice

"Nothing it's just...did you make friends with that Estonian boy?" Lovino suddenly asked

"No, he likes to...bug people" Feliciano said slowly before standing up "I'll fix it, I'll go make him get rid of them"

His tone was cold and abrasive

"No" Lovino said simply "he's not nimble enough and he likes to work for other people..." the Italian then took a deep breath "I'll deal with this"

"But..." Feliciano lowered his voice and whispered something into his brothers ear

"Don't worry I'll figure it out" Lovino said reassuringly before everything went black.

Like everything

It had caught Gilbert and Antonio off guard when the entire area lost all light

"Are you two ok?" gilberts voice came through his walkey talky

"we're ok" Antonio reported back "we'll wait for the lights to go back on then get out of here, ok?" he said

He could hardly see anything with the dense campus forestation blocking out the moonlight

"Got it" Francis stated.

* * *

**...oOo...**

It only took another 30 seconds for the lights to go back on, but when they did Feliciano and Lovino were gone from sight so there was not point in staying in the tree anyway.

Antonio and Gilbert walked into gilberts dorm room

"So what do we have?" they asked a certain British boy who they had asked for help and had actually been interested in the Vargas twin's case

"Nothing" Francis said in a grave voice "We had a program translating everything and even that was wiped"

"What do you mean wiped?" Gilbert questioned angrily

"He means gone, poof" Arthur said making hand gestures and slamming his hands down on the table angrily around his computer

The boy had a thing for hacking and spy fiction so he was the one who obviously hooked them up with the technical side of this entire thing, not Eduard von bock as many would believe

"I'm not computer genius but information doesn't just disappear" Gilbert pointed out

"Well it did" Arthur said kicking the sturdy chair leg "they must have sent a quick acting virus after setting this black out!"

"they couldn't have set the black out" Antonio interjected "i saw them in their room and was listening to the translation you were feeding me through the headphones, they only realised that they were being watched a few seconds before the black out and there's not way they touched their computer, it was in the next room and we could see it the entire time"

"Whatever you bloody tosser" Arthur said angrily "they wiped my computer clean and I know it was them because there's nobody else we're fucking watching!"

"Shhh!" Francis hissed "maybe there's another explanation..." he stated

"Maybe their supernatural" Kiku said In a quiet voice but that got everyone's attention

"Maybe..." Gilbert said slowly

"you're not seriously considering it" Ludwig laughed "that's not possible"

"a man ripped apart from his centre into nothing recognisable, their father mounted on a wall...the black out and computer wipe...they might be supernatural murderers or just really fucking lucky" Gilbert said

The last suggestion was said in a bitter and sarcastic tone

"Their onto us already" Arthur almost choked

"No their best suspect is...Eduard and they'll figure out he has nothing to do with this and then they'll know it's us" Arthurs said in a panicky tone

"Eduard doesn't talk about his clients and you got Alfred to get the bugs for you remember?" Francis stated, "Alfred's too stupid to probably even recall it so our identities are safe"

"We should stop" Ludwig said uneasily

"Like hell, it's not every day you get something like this dropped on your lap, I wanna find out everything I can bout those two" Gilbert protested

His brother gave him a hard glare

"But this is getting too dangerous Gilbert, try to understand" his brother said firmly

"I agree," Francis said, "what if this escalates into something big?"

"And this ends just like that?" Arthur questioned

"Just like that..." Gilbert said bitterly.

* * *

**...oOo...**

**That was sorta a weird chapter to write...**

**It might get fluffy in a minute so...yea :D**

**i had my internet down for a while so i can't remember when i last updated this...**

**it might have been the first thing i did when i got my internet back a while ago but i'm not sure...**

**Also I forgot to ask for reviews in my previous chapter but it would be nice if I got some...just saying**


	3. Chapter 3

Antonio stood outside the classroom once more looking in on Feliciano and Lovino

They were both more quiet than usual today.

Maybe they were concerned on who was listening in?

"we know your there bastardo" Lovino said simply shocking the Spaniard

As mentioned before he knew that they knew he was there but they never talked

Antonio laughed awkwardly

"hi" he greeted with a smile "I'm Antonio"

"il cane di Elizabeta, I know" Lovino said simply

"Hey! I'm not a dog," Antonio said picking up on one of the few Italian words he knew

Lovino glared up

"um...Antonio, did you want to join us for lunch? Because your completely welcome, Ve" Feliciano said breaking the tension between the pair

"Whatever" Lovino spat before looking at his lunch and letting his mind wander as the Spaniard sat down

He had gone to see that Eduard guy earlier...

* * *

**...oOo...**

**(flashback)**

Lovino stormed into the I.T room angrily

"Eduard" he said simply

He knew the guys name because he was the only guy in the school who you could get bugs from

"Oh, I was expecting you" the Estonian said not looking up from his computer

Lovino's lip twitched and he stormed over before taking the computer

"Tell me who did you give those bugs to?" he asked "because they ended up in my dorm!"

"I-I gave them to Alfred but he could have given them to anyone!" Eduard said

Lovino didn't get that weird shiver go down his spine so he knew that he was telling the truth

That didn't stop him from smashing the Estonians computer the ground and stalking off.

There was no point in investigating more

Alfred was the biggest liar on campus believe it or not.

He was able to lie just like that but he was also a forgetful fucker.

_Don't read people's minds without their permission or if I haven't told you to._

The dark haired Italian growled angrily, he was lucky that Feli _had a way_ with computers (stemming from a bit of hacking he had done while they lived back in Italy so they could check more...secure networks from any information on what they were...)

He on the other hand was still learning

_Computers are for normal kids_

_Not monsters with demons in their souls...if they have any._

* * *

**...oOo...**

**_(now)_**

"You know you love him really" Feliciano smirked in Italian knowing his brother had taken a strange liking to the Spaniard who stared at them in confusion

"Can you please speak English?" Antonio requested, "I feel like I'm being left out"

"Ve~ sorry" Feliciano smiled "so Antonio, why did you decide to come eat with us?"

"I always see you two alone here and I thought maybe you could use some more company" the Spaniard lied

He was currently going freelance in exploring their pasts, everyone else had given up but Antonio knew there was something they'd missed or maybe seen and but not noted.

Feliciano shivered

"Sorry, it's a bit cold in here" he said looking at his brother who promptly shut the window

Somehow Antonio felt like there was an underlying subtext to that

Lovino sighed

"Bastardo if you want to stay then, don't lie"

Antonio gave him a questioning look

"Sorry" he mumbled sincerely before taking out his lunch "so...what sort of music do you like?"

Antonio couldn't think of anything else to ask

"Ripcords" Feliciano smiled sweetly referring to the dark heavy metal band "I have all their stuff and am a huge fan!"

"Markers" Lovino said simply

Another heavy rock band but they were somewhat softer than the ripcords

"Wow, that's surprising..." Antonio said, they didn't look like the type who were into that sort of music

Lunch eventually rolled to an end after they discussed a series of interesting subjects, most of which Lovino managed to get really passionate about which amused the Spaniard

"Guys it's time for class" a Hungarian accented voice came from the door

She stood there with a strange smile on her face that made Lovino flush and mutter

"chigi" before falling silent.

"I'll leave then" Antonio smiled getting up "see you guys later"

"Ve~" Feliciano grinned but Lovino stayed silent now apparently pouting.

_And that's how one lunchtime became dozens..._

**(A/N:I totally made up those band names cauz I'm not bothered to search up any real heavy rock bands and start a war on whose better)**

* * *

**...oOo...**

Antonio sang as he once again got up to go and have lunch with the Vargas twins

"Dude where are you going?" Gilbert asked his Spanish friend "I've realised you've been ditching us for a while"

"I eat lunch somewhere else now" Antonio said vaguely before leaving

Gilbert would _freak_ if he knew.

Antonio entered Feliciano and Lovino's classroom happily

"Ve~ hi Antonio" Feliciano smiled while clinging to Ludwig who seemed to be ignoring the Italian and eating his lunch with a red face

"Oh, hi" Antonio smiled coming over and taking a seat between the blonde and the tsundere Italian brother

"Finally, bastardo what took so long?" Lovino spat angrily

"Sorry~" Antonio gushed

He already knew Lovino hated Ludwig after that night in the tree...

"Luddy came to join us for lunch to—"

"He practically dragged me" the German said glancing at the more hateful brother before going back to his food

He was truly stuck between a cuddle bear and a son of a bitch.

...respectively.

Antonio chuckled at this realisation earning a look form Lovino and Feliciano

"So guys I heard you've been granted you campus leave passes, finally," the Spaniard said conversationally as he sat down

"Yea~ isn't it really cool?" Feliciano gushed, "now we can explore the area outside the school" he smiled

"I heard there was a ripcord concert coming up not too far from here" Antonio smiled "If I could get us all tickets would you guys come with me?" he asked

"Ve! That sounds like fun!" Feliciano said excitedly

"Whatever bastardo" Lovino mumbled

"I'm not hearing a no~" Antonio sang happily "what about you Ludwig?"

"Sure...I guess" the German said looking down at the Italian on his arm who was clinging onto him like no tomorrow

Lunch rolled on and eventually came to an end

"Ve? I don't want to go to P.E, I swear that Swiss guy really has it out for me" Feliciano shivered

"I could come watch," Lovino said simply

"No way!" Antonio protested, "You can't just go and watch the freshmen do P.E! You're already in their homeroom and most of their classes because you requested it!"

"What?" Lovino looked up at him with genuine confusion "I didn't request anything bastardo"

Then the air seemed to get heavy

"So...you were really held back?" Ludwig questioned

Lovino stopped talking altogether and seemed to recede back into his bubble of **_'leave me the fuck alone'_**...ness

"Fratello didn't go to school in Italy, Ve" Feliciano stated "but I did so I'm in the right year but he has to do a little bit of catching up on the basics so that they can move him to the right year"

"Why didn't you go to school Lovi?" Antonio pressed wanting to know more but that made everything get worse "did you refuse to leave your house?" he asked

Feliciano then started to tap his index fingers together-bad sign.

"I'm going back to the house" Lovino stated in Italian before simply getting up and leaving

Feliciano whimpered as the door slammed shut

"Please don't ask about Italia..." Feliciano said quietly "it wasn't a very good time for him..."

The statement was finished in a quite shaky tone before Feliciano also got up and left for their new-shared dorm room (which was more like an apartment really...)

* * *

**...oOo...**

Lovino locked his bedroom door and sat on his bed panting as he tried to tear away this stupid tight tie and stupid leather gloves and stupid **_motherfucking_** shirt!

Damn it

Why now?

Why did he have to remember now?

He took calming breaths and stared at himself in the mirror where the scars on his body became all too real and were pushed into the focus of his mind

His hands were the worst since he had spent a lot of the days banging on the door trying to get out of that stupid room where he would repent and lay himself down for the lord

_Oh god._

Lovino turned and sat himself on the bed burying his face in his hands

"Lovino?" his brother called knocking softly on the door "are you ok?" he inquired in his mother tongue

Lovino didn't answer

"Lovino, he didn't mean it. He was just trying to be friendly..." Feliciano continued

Still no answer

"Romano?"

That name. That stupid, horrible _fucking _name that their mother would use all the god damn fucking time!

"Romano please I—"

"Mother God Lord Jesus **_motherfucking_** **Christ Almighty** _Feliciano_ will you_ shut _the **_fucking hell _**up!" Lovino exclaimed before grabbing his headphones and putting them on before letting the heavy rock drown his brother out

He didn't know

He didn't know what it felt like to be dragged into that room.

He wasn't there those countless school hours where their father yelled at him trying to force the demon out by breaking him down

He wouldn't understand

Nobody would ever understand

_'I understand.' _His brother's voice invaded his mind

"get the fuck out!" Lovino fumed pushing his bother back

There was the unmistakable sound of someone hitting the ground really roughly outside

Lovino bit his lip as the guilt washed over him

The Italian got up and headed for the door opening it to find his brother picking himself off the floor

"Feli I didn't mean to—"

"its fine" his brother said In a broken voice "I didn't mean to..."

He didn't even finish the fucking sentence he just ran out of the dorm.

Fuck

_Fuck all of this._

* * *

**...oOo...**

**Well...that happened :D**

**It was fun to write and now I give it to you as a present for the day**

**I know this started out sorta nice but this is kind of a heavy story which will have moments of sunshine :D**

**I don't know if I'll update again tonight but I'm already working on the next chappie (yes I live in England) so...bye.**


	4. Chapter 4

The next day was different to say the least.

Instead of there being either the usual three sitting at lunch or the newly acquainted four it was just Antonio, Ludwig and Feliciano (who seemed happy with the mixture on the surface but one could suspect that he was slowly dying on the inside)

Antonio sighed

"So when will Lovi start coming back to lessons?" he asked

Elizabeta had pressed him on the matter and berated him for the fact that it was_ technically_ his fault the teenager had decided to lock himself in his dorm room

"Ve..." Feliciano trailed off thoughtfully "I don't know" he said finally "when he gets like this it's best to leave him alone for a while"

Antonio then played a sad face

"But I got tickets for an upcoming Ripcord concert in the area" he said simply which made Feliciano's eyes shine In a very strange way

"w-well I could tell him and see if he still wants to go" Feliciano said slowly

If Lovino didn't want to get out then Feliciano would probably drag him out for the concert

You would never guess but the Italian was quite crafty, to what extent though Antonio hadn't figured it out...

* * *

**...oOo...**

Antonio whistled as he exited his dorm room

"Going somewhere?" Gilbert questioned

"A concert" Antonio smiled hoping his friend would let it slide

He didn't

Gilbert stood infront of his friend with a very serious look on his face

"Who is she?"

The question had stunned the Spaniard

He had been prepared to play out around 20 different scenarios but this wasn't one of them

"What?"

"The girl you've fallen for, Ludwig told me that you've been hanging out with someone you've taken a special liking to for a while now"

_Oh. Good job._

"HE's someone you know but I don't kiss and tell...well we haven't kissed yet" Antonio said swerving around his friend "but we might if today goes well"

"Just be careful, ja? I heard things can get crazy at the ripcords concerts and some religious fundamentalists have been targeting them for a while now"

"Got it" Antonio saluted as he headed for the door

_'At least I didn't lie...exactly...' _Antonio thought happily as he came to the staircase.

* * *

**...oOo...**

Antonio stood outside Feliciano and Lovino's dorm room expectantly with Ludwig, it's strange how after you haven't seen someone in a few days knowing you're going to see them in a few minutes starts to eat away at you...

"Hey Luddy~" a happy Italian voice came as Feliciano came out of the dorm house dragging Lovino behind him

The older teenager was obviously unhappy with the fact that he was being dragged away from the house but also seemed slightly...happy?

"Ve~ Lovino got reality excited when I told him you got the tickets for the concert~" Feliciano gushed "he immediately unlocked his door and—"

"can we just go already bastardo?!" Lovino hissed

"Si~" Antonio smiled wrapping an arm around the Italian and leading him to his car "after all I seem to have taken a special liking to you" he said looking particularly at Ludwig who flushed red.

* * *

**...oOo...**

Antonio had never been to a ripcord concert before, he had listened to some of their music (and discovered they were quite good) and done a bit of research on the band so he wouldn't embarrass himself but the sensation he got from the concert was weird

He expected lots of pieced teenage misfits and older dodgy looking people but instead he was greeted with a storm of friendly people (some of which were in fact pieced but their appearances seemed to completely contrast their personalities)

"Can you feel the buzz?" Feliciano exclaimed excitedly "it's so amazing"

"The what?" Ludwig questioned looking down at the Italian in confusion

The place was quite quiet now as people waited for the band to come on stage and it seemed to be filled with excitement but there was no particular 'buzz' to speak of

"he's just really excited" Lovino spoke up "he gets like this at all their concerts"

Once again Antonio got that feeling that he was being left out but he was unable to explore it as the lights dimmed and the band stepped out into flashing lights and fire.

There was a mighty roar of cheers as they started their song!

The buzz

He could feel I now, this unified excitement that came with being at a concert

Antonio looked down at Lovino who was now sporting a massive grin and cheering wildly along with practically everyone else in the concert hall (including Ludwig, who seemed to have decided to just go with it)

"What the hell" Antonio shrugged before cheering along with his friends.

* * *

**...oOo...**

The concert lasted a while but managed to maintain that buzz that Feliciano had described just before the concert had started

"This is amazing Lovi~" Antonio smiled down at his friend who wasn't cheering anymore but was looking up at the ceiling

"Lovi?" he questioned

Ludwig seemed to have also stopped as Feliciano-who was sitting on his other side- was also glancing up at the ceiling but at a different spot to Lovino

"Fratello? I think—" Feliciano started pointing up at the ceiling that seemed to get the drummers attention

The band then grinded to a halt mid-song as their drummer got up and surveyed the beam above where the band was playing

There was a loud lurching sound as the beam directly above the stage groaned

"Eseguire!" Lovino exclaimed grabbing his brother and starting to dash backwards

That triggered a chain reaction that got a whole lot of people running back for the door

Antonio stayed where he was stunned and unable to figure out what was happening.

Suddenly the beam above him fell to the ground locking him where he was.

_Ok now you can panic._

Antonio looked around frantically for an answer but all he saw was smoke coming out from backstage

_'Great'_ he thought looking around frantically

Then came that sound again as another beam above started to come loose

* * *

**...oOo...**

Kiku, Sadik and Heracles stood near the main entrance of the building watching as people exited in a very disorderly fashion

"Where's mark?" Sadik asked looking around frantically for the other friend t hey had arrived with

"We should—" Kiku started before someone caught his attention

"What do you mean you didn't see the bastard running with us?!" Lovino exploded

"VE! I didn't see him fratello!" Feliciano exclaimed

Lovino gave a ferocious glare before running back around the corner and deeper into the building

"Fratello!" Feliciano exclaimed following his brother

"Wait here" Kiku ordered following the Italian inside along with his German friend "who are they looking for?" he asked Ludwig

"Antonio, we don't think he's come out yet" Ludwig stated as they rounded the corner into the main hall.

It all happened at once.

There was the loud sound of a beam coming loose above the stage, Antonio was trapped between fire and steel.

The metal started to come down and the Spaniard got on his knees and put his arms over his head unable to do anything else as death approached

Kiku could only give out a shocked gasp at the metal beam came down and—

Froze.

In mid air.

The metal beam just...froze there like someone was holding it up

The Japanese boy was first paralysed by confusion but as it passed and he looked around he noticed that Lovino had his hand outstretched. His vibrant amber eyes were glowing and his mouth was open slightly as he whispered softly

Antonio looked up slowly and then locked his vision on Lovino who was now slowly stepping forward

The Italian broke the metal pieces apart and waited for his friend to step out of the way of danger before everything dropped

With it the auburn haired Italian lost consciousness.

* * *

**...oOo...**

**Yep...**

**I don';t think I'll comment but it was fun to write**

**REVEIWS=HAPPY PANDA.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Short chapter but it's Monday**

* * *

**...oOo...**

Feliciano I feel as if we need to talk about this" Ludwig said almost pleadingly

There is nothing to talk about" Feliciano said not looking up at his German friend

"何てこと！何てこと！何てこと！" Kiku repeated over and over as he paced Feliciano and Lovino's dorm room

"What do you mean nothing to talk about? I almost died!" Antonio interjected "I feel as if I should be dead right now!"

"これは起きていない, 私は科学の男です！それはただ起こりませんでした！"

"But your alive and your fine!" Feliciano exclaimed "can't you just let it go?!"

"We can't just let it go because—Kiku vill you shut up?!" Ludwig exclaimed in a loud more accented voice glaring at the panicking Japanese boy they had quite effectively kidnapped

"But it is not possible!" Kiku shouted, "it defies the laws of nature! You should not exist"

"dire che ancora una volta bastardo!" Feliciano snapped seeming to have gone into full defensive mode

As he did there was the sound of something breaking in the other room

The Italian then regained himself

"There is nothing to talk about. Things like that don't usually happen for us either"

"But—" Antonio started to protest

"All I want...all we want is to be left alone, is that too much to ask for?" the Italians voice then sounded broken more than anything else

"Feliciano I'm...sorry" Ludwig sighed unable to watch as the shorter teen held back tears "we won't ask about it if it's that much of a sensitive subject"

The German then went to wrap his arms around the other teenager that was well received.

Kiku started taking long deep breaths to calm himself down.

"si... Lo siento amigo" Antonio sighed running his hands through his head

Maybe he should be grateful.

He was about to die and Lovino cared enough to save him...

Or at least that's what he hoped. He could never tell with those two, what their priorities were.

"So...what now?" Kiku asked finally regaining his semi-stoic composure

"now we...call it a night" Ludwig said simply.

* * *

**...oOo...**

The voices

_They whisper._

Why wouldn't they stop whispering?

Usually they were quiet but now they roared like beasts waiting to be freed

"No" Lovino begged in Arabic "just shut up, please"

He had given them a taste of freedom and now they were coming to life

Feliciano pushed open his brother's door softly

He had simply gone to sleep after he had saved Antonio

"Is he ok?" Antonio asked peering into the room

He had agreed to call it night but he had stated that he'd see it Lovino through the night

"It's fine he gets...nightmares" Feliciano said softly going over to his brothers bedside

"Leave me alone" Lovino whispered once again in his mothers tongue (that Antonio didn't understand)

"it's ok" Feliciano whispered like their mother would "I'm here for you fratello, they can't hurt you, I promise they will never hurt you"

The older boy seemed to calm down a lot but not completely

"shouldn't we wake him up?" Antonio asked

"If we wake him up every time he has nightmares he'll never sleep, Ve" Feliciano stated "sometimes he screams and cries stuck between being awake and dreaming...i think that I's the only way that they can talk to him so they won't let him wake even if he tries"

"Who's they?" Antonio questioned moving closer to the auburn haired Italian and running his fingers though his hair affectionately

His mother would do the same when he had nightmares

Feliciano's eyes darkened

"Figures of his imagination that you could do without meeting" he stated before sighing and lying down "you can have my room but Romano needs me here"

Antonio simply nodded not questioning the name Feliciano had used to refer to his brother

"Goodnight" he said getting up off the bed and leaving the room.

* * *

**...oOo...**

**I realize I haven't been translating everything but I've been writing it in English so you understand all the important parts.**

**If you desperately want to know what they said I'll start adding translations in, ve?**

**Ok and this is where things (probably) get sadder for Feliciano...srsly.**

**Actually I might take a vote**

**I've got a scenario planned out that I could play or I could tell you more about their past?**

**You decide**

**But it's good for you to know that the scenario is sad for Feliciano or maybe I could intricate the scenario in some other way?**

**Meh.**

**Just decide so I can follow vox populi**

**REVEIWS=HAPPY PANDA.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Translations are at the bottom.**

* * *

**...oOo...**

Lovino opened his eyes in the dead of night

He needed to get away from here.

His room was empty and he was all alone.

The teenager got up slowly before making his way to his brothers room

_Just calm down, Your awake now._

The Italian quickly slipped into his brothers bed

"goodnight bastardo" he whispered to bothering to look back at his "brother".

**(the morning)**

Feliciano was awoken by a scream.

A very loud and _very _unmanly scream which could only be identified as his brothers.

The brunette quickly got up and rushed into his own bedroom where his brother was standing and pointing (and swearing) at Antonio who had a goofy grin on his face

"oh" he breathed

He must have gotten up in the middle of the night and—

"what the fuck is this fucker doing here?!" Lovino snapped turning his anger to Feliciano

"I slept in your room so I let him sleep here" Feliciano stated "didn't you notice I was in your bed?"

"you weren't fucking there when I got up!" Lovino shouted

Feliciano was about to state that he must have gone to use the bathroom at that point but decided against it since it would only send his brother off the deep end and ruin this wonderful morning

Besides.

"you were the one who crawled up into my bed and clung to ME Lovi~" Antonio sang

_'now i have dirt on him_' Feliciano thought slyly thinking back to the camera he had used earlier when he had come back to bed to fin his brother gone.

* * *

**...oOo...**

Lovino shook in anger as the people around him chatted away

first of all there was the potato fucker and the Japanese kid-Kiku or whatever-they had launched themselves into an interesting conversation about some shit he didn't want to know about and were now effectively creating the base of all the chatter

The rest of the noise was coming from Antonio and Feli (who were getting _WAY_ too comfy)

Seriously! Feliciano was clinging to that potato fucker but seemed to be immersed in a deep conversation with Antonio-who had is hand midpoint between the two of them

What was that meant to even mean anyway?

That he wanted Lovino to hold his hand?

No.

Or...yes?

Lovino slammed his hands on the table an stood up, unable to take this anymore.

"Where are you going Lovi?" Antonio asked

""Vado off motivi ancora"" he said in Italian " "Fare in modo che cagna ungherese non trova fuori"

Three out of the four other members of the group stared at Lovino with confusion

"fratello you can't do that!" Feliciano said also standing "lei arriva di nuovo arrabbiato!"

"do I look like I care?" Lovino napped packing away his things "also I'm just going to go get some exercise" _exploit my freedom._

"si prega di rimanere qui?" Feliciano begged

Lovino swayed but didn't stop

" I'll see you all later" he stated leaving

Ludwig looked down at the very upset looking Feliciano

"that wasn't very nice" he stated cutting through the confused silence

"I know but he can't help it, ve, he..." Feliciano trailed off

"he?" Antonio asked

"he likes to exploit his freedom because... non crede che durerà per sempre » the last part was barely a whisper

A whisper nobody understood but sounded quite vital

"we should just finish eating then, if there's no hope of getting him back" Ludwig suggested

Antonio and Kiku agreed and that was that

* * *

**...oOo...**

**_(flashback)_**

_Feliciano slowed as he came up the driveway to his house_

_There was the sound of plates being smashed inside._

_The teenager took a deep breath before cautiously coming up to his house_

_"Feliciano!" one of his neighbours shouted "is everything ok?"_

_Feliciano gave a shrug_

_"you know papa and Lovino, their both hot tempers and at odds with each other~" Feliciano smiled_

_The woman's face softened but not by much "but that is how they show their love, I will see if I can get them to stop"_

_He gave her a brave face and she smiled letting it go._

_Feliciano then turned and entered his house, locking the door behind him_

_"Romano?" his father exclaimed "is that you?" he asked_

_"no, I'm Feliciano"_

_His father's face fell_

_"Have you seen your brother?" his father asked looking around the house "he can't have vanished, people don't vanish"_

_He was in one of his moods again_

_It was like when mom disappeared, he had torn apart their house looking for her, but she had left taking every trace of herself...except for them._

_And now Lovino had gone and done it too._

_He had probably just picked up all his stuff and—_

_The door clicked open behind Feliciano and his bother walked in_

_"Romano?" their father said in a whisper_

_Lovino looked at them with confusion_

_That's right, he didn't remember_

_"Lovino" his brother corrected_

_"no" his father said shaking his head and rushing forwards before grabbing his brother by the arms "no! You are Romano! Why won't you remember being my Romano?" he asked starting to sob_

_His breath was filled with alcohol_

_Great._

_Lovino pulled himself away before turning and promptly leaving as his father started to sob on the ground_

_Feliciano contemplated staying but knew that it would be a VERY bad idea, especially since his father was drunk, so he turned and followed his brother_

_"don't follow me bastardo" Lovino snapped_

_"Lovino—"_

_"what?!" his brother exploded "what is it that you want from me? What is it that HE wants from me?" he asked stopping "I can't be whoever the fuck Romano is Feliciano!"_

_His brother gave him a very hard poke on the chest_

_"i can't be someone who I only remember fragments of!"_

_"I...I don't want you to be him..." Feliciano whispered softly._

* * *

**...oOo...**

A man watched from a distance as Feliciano's gaze became more and more pitiful

Romano was strong and knew his way around his powers but Feliciano was emotional and everywhere. He could do things but only if you pushed his limit and involved Lovino.

The man smiled before entering the room and giving a smile at Kiku

"Ve? Your Mark?" Feliciano questioned staring at the man "but I thought Kiku said he went to the concert with you"

_He had gone back on purpose knowing that this would get them to reveal themselves _

"I'm a teaching assistant," the man stated simply "so I'm not bound to the school like regular teachers"

_His pretty little boyfriend would confirm if they still had the gift of if they'd wasted it and locked it up inside of themselves_

"Ve! That sounds nice" Feliciano said happily

"I know right" Mark smiled

"My English isn't as fluent as yours so mark helps me," Kiku stated conversationally

7 years he'd waited for this.

And now, it was inches away from being his.

* * *

**...oOo...**

**translations**

"Vado off motivi ancora" -"I'm gonna go off grounds again"

"Fare in modo che cagna ungherese non trova fuori -make sure that Hungarian bitch doesn't find out"

lei arriva di nuovo arrabbiato-she'll get mad again !

si prega di rimanere qui?—please stay here

non crede che durerà per sempre—he doesn't believe it will last forever

* * *

**...oOo...**

**I decided not to update during the holidays, blah, blah, blah**

**I know this was short but I'm about to go through a major burn out (read:pass out) so...yea**

**but i promised myself i'd update today so I'll just edit quickly and update**

**G'night.**

**But reviews make me happy! And motivated!**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN-to the guest who reviewed saying: run Feli run**

**That totally made my day ;D**

**I also just decided I'm gonna drag this out :D**

* * *

**...oOo...**

Romano sat in a random park looking up at the sky

It felt nice sitting in silence and not surrounded by idiots or bastards...

Romano then let out a deep breath and closed his eyes.

_'Focus on nature...' _he thought as he started to relax his entire body

The key word there being started

The Italian scowled and then opened his eyes

"I can sense you back there bastardo" he snapped without looking behind him,

Antonio gave an awkward chuckle before coming out from behind the bushes

"that's not fair Lovi~ I wanted to surprise you" the Spaniard smiled before taking seat next to the shorter male

"Did I say you could sit down?"

_'No but I'm going to anyway'_ Antonio thought in quite a dark tone which made Lovino shiver

"Sorry Lovi~" Antonio smiled not standing up

"what the fuck are you doing here?"

_'I decided to leave after you made your brother upset'_ Antonio thought once again with quite an edge _'I always come here so I don't understand why you're so snappy'_

"I came after you Lovi~" Antonio sang

"Why do you smile like that even though you're obviously angry with me?" Lovino asked simply

"I'm not—" Antonio started

"I can read minds" Lovino cut in "I-it's not like I'm trying to bastardo but when a person's face drastically doesn't match their thoughts or emotions then it's kind of automatic" he stated

Antonio then sighed and let his face fall

It was strange seeing that expression on the Spaniard

"I guess we've all got things we want to hide" he said In a VERY uncharacteristic voice

"So why are you really here?" Lovino asked changing the subject

"It's a nice spot," Antonio said before fishing something out of his pocket "got a light?" he asked

Lovino shook his head and looked away, he didn't like this version of the Spaniard

At all.

"That's fine" Antonio sighed searching his pockets before finally taking out a silver lighter and setting the cigarette in his mouth ablaze

"d-don't smoke near me bastardo" Lovino hissed glaring at the Spaniard

"You're the one who ended up in my spot," Antonio said defensively

Lovino's eye then twitched before the cigarette went out by itself. Antonio looked up into the auburn haired teens green-amber eyes before once again sighing

"Fine...also don't tell Elizabeta about this I'm meant to be quitting," he said in a comically begging tone

"Whatever" Lovino grumbled glad that that Antonio was gone again.

He liked this version of the Spaniard, happy. Open.

It made him feel safe.

Lovino looked down at the Spaniards hand that was once again situated between them

_'You're reading too much into this'_ he thought putting his gloved hands in his lap

"...so?" Antonio asked

"what?" Lovino questioned

"those gloves...why do you wear them?"

Lovino then felt something inside of him freeze

He could tell him or he could leave him in the dark

_'It's unfair that you're not telling him anything, he's not told anyone your secrets'_

_'You don't know that'_

_'Yes you do, you could have read it in his mind or—'_

_'You don't know that, you don't know anything about him!' _

_'I know enough that he makes me feel comfortable and that I can relax around him! At this rate I'll never become real friends with anyone!'_

Lovino winced slightly as the nice voice got slightly louder in his head

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to pry" Antonio said apologetically, completely unaware of the argument that just took place inside Lovino's head

"It's fine" the Italian mumbled before slowly slipping off the leather garments

Antonio started at his hands in complete shock

"People ask questions when they see these" Lovino said quietly

Antonio then reached forward and took the Italians hands in his own

"You were banging on a wooden door..." he said slowly

Lovino pulled his hands away and got up

"How the fuck do you know that?" he asked

Antonio then bit his lip and looked around

"I used to be involved with...people" he said carefully "and I've seen these types of marks before" he stated simply

Lovino lingered for a second

_'You can't trust him, he's getting dodgier by the second'_

'He's just not willing to tell you everything about himself, and why should he while you haven't told him anything worthwhile about yourself?'

Lovino sat down and put his gloves back on

"Make sure my brother doesn't find out you smoke or he'll cure your tar lunges"

"He can do that?" Antonio questioned

"Its...complicated" Lovino stated awkwardly before looking away

He didn't want to talk to him anymore, he was revealing too much.

_Too much._

Antonio seemed to get the message and just let it go

"So...does this mean I can smoke?" he asked

Lovino gave the Spaniard a glare but didn't stop him

"you're so cute when you're angry Lovi~" Antonio sang as he lit his cigarette again.

* * *

**...oOo...**

Feliciano ran like hell around the track as Bach followed him

"Get back here you bastard so I can _MURDER YOU_!" the Swiss boy exclaimed

"Bach get back here!" the coach exclaimed while chasing him

"SOMEBODY PLEASE SAVE ME I DON'T WANT TO DIE LIKE THIS ,I'M STILL A VIGIN, WHY WOULD YOU KILL A VIGIN? I DIDN'T MEAN TO GET YOUR SISTER TO SMILE LIKE THAT, ALL I WANTED WAS—"

The Italian stopped as someone promptly stuck out their leg and tripped him

Feliciano winced as he came crashing down to the floor

"Why did you do that?" Ludwig asked mark (who was obviously there for Kiku) angrily

"He was going _REALLY_ fast, if I got in his way we would have both gotten seriously injured" mark said defensively before looking down at Feliciano

_'So pitiful'_ he thought happily

Feliciano couldn't read thoughts as well as Romano could so at this distance he was free to think what he wanted

"Feliciano I'll take you to the nurses—"

"no!" Feliciano exclaimed while getting up and staring fearfully at Bach who was being held back by the Russian student (on Ludwig's orders) "I-I think I'll just go back to the dorm, I've got a really big first aid kit because I'm such a klutz, also I can heal myself up" he smiled

"I'll come with you" mark insisted

Feliciano tried to protest but the older man grabbed him and started dragging him away

"He should be careful, da?" Ivan said looking back at Feliciano and mark "that man reminds me of myself~"

Ludwig stared at the Russian in confusion before letting it go

_'One problem at a time'_ he thought dismissively before going over to lecture bach.

* * *

**...oOo...**

Feliciano shook as mark took out the first aid kit

"If Bach keeps bothering you please say so Feli" he said simply as he searched for some bandages and plasters

"I-it's ok really, I heard he had anger issues and—"

"it's not ok!" mark cut in harshly before sighing "sorry...I didn't meant to..."

"Its fine" Feliciano said again "really—"

"how can it be fine if you keep making faces like that" mark asked "I've been watching you for a while now Feli and—"

"Ve? Watching me?" Feliciano said fearfully

"no!" mark practically exclaimed "I mean yes but.." the brunette trailed off before leaning in and giving the Italian a kiss on the lips "I l-like you"

Feliciano sat there completely unmoving before his brain went into meltdown mode

"I t-think that's really nice b-but—"

"I'm sorry" mark said with quite a pitiful face "I shouldn't of...i should have known you wouldn't feel the same since your always chasing after pretty girls"

"n-no I mean it's not that!" Feliciano said frantically "I mean love is love but...I've just never really felt it before and n-now you're..."

"So I have a chance?" mark asked enthusiastically

Feliciano paused for a moment before nodding

"I guess we could try it out and see how it goes?" he questioned

Mark then gave a very bright smile

"I'll do my best to make you happy!" he exclaimed giving Feliciano a bear hug

_Too easy._

* * *

**...oOo...**

**God I love updating this fanficion!**

**So anyway, I know some of you are gonna be like Antonio smokes?**

**But yea. He has a past**

**Also everything I write is relevant so when their grandfather Romulus said that their mother died but later Feli said she just left**

**That's important**

**So is the glove and the wristband (that's why I reminded you they existed)**

**Please give a reviews because they will make me a happy panda**

**And It will make me more motivated and more motivation= me extending the story plot and not winging it as I go along!**

**I also almost forgot to mention that romances will be slow in this.**

**(that's why I said I'd drag it out at the beginning of the chapter**

**have a nice weekend!**

**Panda. Out.**


	8. halleluiah

**For those of you who'll remember I was inspired to write this because of the 2013 remake of carrie so if I add elements from it then...yea.**

* * *

_**...oOo...**_

_Well, I heard there was a secret chord_

_That David played, and it pleased the Lord_

_But you don't really care for music, do ya?_

Feliciano walked down the school corridor with a smile on his face

_"We have to keep it a secret ok?" mark smiled "I mean until you turn 18"_

_Feliciano nodded_

"I have a boyfriend," he sang in Italian before breaking out into a skip "a boyfriend who loves me~"

The mere memory of it was enough to keep him happy. 

_Well, it goes like this: the fourth, the fifth_

_The minor fall and the major lift_

_The baffled king composing Hallelujah_

Lovino watched his brother from a distance

"He's been like this for around a month now," he said to Antonio who had recently pointed out Feliciano's behaviours to his older brother

"Maybe something really good has happened" Antonio stated

"Yea, the bastardo's dating someone who I haven't met" Lovino said uneasily

"Really?" Antonio smiled happily

"Yea" Lovino nodded "I think the guys name is mark or something," the Italian stated

"Oh, I know him" Antonio smiled "he's really nice, but he's a part timer at the school" Antonio stated

"Seriously? _EVERYONE_ knows this fucker except me!" he exclaimed with fury

"Calm down Lovi~" Antonio smiled happily "you'll meet him eventually"

His words calmed the Italian but they didn't stop him from getting that really uneasy feeling

As if..._something horrible was about to happen_...

"So Lovi~" Antonio said grabbing his 'friend's gloved hand

He liked pushing the boundaries

"what?" Lovino snapped trying to retract his hand but failing as Antonio tightened his grip

"My friends have been anxious to hang out with you" he said sweetly "would you like to join us for lunch?" the Spaniard asked

"Fuck no" Lovino snapped

_'It wasn't a question'_ Antonio thought darkly

"Please?" the Spaniard begged

"Fine! You two faced bastard" Lovino huffed

_God_. It freaked him out when Antonio did that.

Also he was starting to get the feeling he was doing it on purpose.

* * *

**...oOo...**

Lovino walked over awkwardly and sat down with Antonio and his damn friends

"Why is he here?" a certain British bastard questioned pointing rudely at Lovino

"He's my boyfriend" Antonio announced

There was a long and very heavy pause

"What?" Lovino questioned sounding more baffled that everyone else

"Oh" Francis whispered softly "well...that makes sense... sort of." He stated

"What the fuck is that meant to mean?" Arthur and Lovino snapped in unison

"I don't like it" Gilbert said poking Lovino rudely "it has fangs and it bites a lot"

"fuck you" Lovino cursed "and why the fuck did you just lie to their faces?!" Lovino exclaimed angrily "we're not dating, he's just been eating lunch at our spot for a while now" Lovino clarified

"Good the fuck off" Gilbert said simply that made Lovino angry(ier?)

"Fuck you bastardo, at least I don't blatantly forget people exist"

"The fuck are you talking about?" Gilbert questioned

"Your motherfucking boyfriend, that Canadian bitch!" Lovino said pointing to a very quest blonde who was occupying the "spare" seat on the table "you know the one who's captain of_ MY _hockey team?"

"Jesus fucking Christ Mattie how long have you been there?" Gilbert questioned

"I arrived first" Mathew said in a very quiet tone

His face was flushed red at both the sudden attention and the fact that someone managed to see him outside of his daily hobby

**(AN:I totally ship canadaXromano, but not here. Not now...or maybe...)**

"see!" Lovino said triumphantly

"Do you understand what's happening anymore?" Arthur asked his French boyfriend as the two continued to bicker

"Not a clue mon cher" Francis sighed watching the idiots battle it out "but I think we should stop them before it gets...out of hand?" he said

Arthur then nodded but didn't make a move

"Actually I think I can watch this for a little bit longer" he said calmly trying not to think back to that time they...y'know spied on the Italian brothers.

"I hope all lunchtimes turn out to be as fun as this," Antonio sang happily getting up to pry his boyfriend away from the _Prussian_ as Mathew effortlessly did the same.

* * *

**...oOo...**

**Ok so the song I'm going to be theming this to is halleluiah **

**:D**

**I was gonna just focus on what's going on with Feliciano but I decided to write it in segments along with the main plot for the next few chapters because that sounds like more fun**

**I've already written out ALL of what's happening to Feliciano the next few chapters but now I've got to write more about Antonio and Lovino (without including the Italian too much...)**

**So any ideas on what I could add?**

**I might focus on another character if you guys want but I have to finish off this part of what happens to Feliciano before I reveal too much about the past so...yea**

**Anyway have a nice weekend kay?**

**And I'll try to keep my updates consistent and interesting (but I can't promise because I'm thinking up all kinds of things for Feli that has left me stumped with the main story)**

**And as always. Review.**


	9. broken crown

**I have NO idea why the last chapter was all in italics...**

**-the author.**

* * *

**...oOo...**

**_Well, your faith was strong, but you needed proof_**

**_You saw her bathing on the roof_**

**_Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya_**

Feliciano pouted as mark stayed on his computer

They had been dating for a month but he was always like this

_'ve, I shouldn't get upset, he loves me'_ Feliciano thought happily to himself

"what's so funny?" mark asked coldly

"nothing" Feliciano said which seemed to piss off his boyfriend

The brunette then got up and went over to his cupboard

"Feliciano, I want to do something. You love me right?" mark asked

Feliciano nodded excitedly but couldn't bring himself to smile as he saw a strange device in marks hands

"if this hurts you tell me" mark said switching on the weird looking machine

Feliciano gasped in surprise as his body was suddenly enveloped in pain

"w-what?" he gasped trying to grab onto something

"does it hurt?" mark asked softly

"I-it does!" Feliciano cried out "make it stop!"

"shhh" mark cooed as the pain increased "it's all going to be ok" he whispered

* * *

**...oOo...**

Lovino glided across the ice with a huge smile on his face, he loved ice skating, not only because it was fun but because it made him feel better inside

Like it was slowly sucking away the anger and just releasing it in a surprisingly horryfing display of—

"shit!" Lovino cried out as a familiar blonde slammed into him and knocked him into the side on the ring

"if you want to keep the puck then you've got be faster than that you FUCKING HOSER" their team captain-otherwise known as Mathew Williams-exclaimed

Lovino glared daggered into the guy and then got up and retrieved the black disc before getting back into his starting position

Today they were all working on speed and signals, 1VS the rest of the team.

"Woo go Lovino!" someone exclaimed from the bleachers

The Italian then paused and looked up to see the annoying face of a particular Spaniard and his fucking friends, that included but was not limited to Gilbert and some other foreign chick.

"f-fuck you bastardo!" Lovino cried taking his eyes off their team captain who gave the silent signal to start

Suddenly the Italian was rushed by all of his teammates at once and crushed under a pile of muscular bodies

_Shit._

Antonio put a hand over his mouth and watched as his 'friend' was eventually released the reprimanded by the captain

"I never understood this vulgar game Mattie likes" Francis said staring at the blonde through binoculars

"You better be pointing those somewhere appropriate, frog" Arthur said coldly

"Of course I am!" Francis said melodramatically which earned him a punch "Oui, oui, I'll point it somewhere appropriate" the parisan said before looking through his binoculars again.

Antonio chuckled softly as the objects of his affections face contorted in a very _HATEFUL _way

"Come at me!" he exclaimed as the team got back into position

"He seems to have gone crazy" Michelle said staring in awe

"He's always like that" Gilbert explained with a goofy grin that unsettled the Spaniard

He was standing pretty close to Michelle and they had been spending excessive amounts of time together lately

Antonio spared a glance at Francis who was looking down at the two's hands (that were almost linked) then let out a deep breath calling the parisan attention.

"Oui" Francis said simply looking back through his binoculars

Arthur also looked over but sighed simply when he realied his boyfriends fae had gone from rapey to serious.

This was gilberts problem. Not theirs.

* * *

**...oOo...**

Lovino took a deep breath as he stepped out of the shows, he didn't like getting changed in front of other people so he waited for (almost) everyone to be gone before he started changing

The only other people who stayed behind were Ivan braginski (who was surprisingly nice) and Mathew (who had to lock up

"Lovino, have you seen your brother around recently?" Ivan asked

"yea, why?" the Italian boy asked curiously "what did that bastardo get himself into this time?"

Ivan smiled but stayed silent

It was weird, Lovino couldn't read the Russian's mind unless he was directly going for it, he didn't catch any off comments or anything outside of his usual expressions. He was (or was just really devoted to) the person he put himself up to be

"after this me and gil are meant to go out to the couples evening in town" Mathew said simply

"doesn't that start at...now?" Lovino said looking up at the clock

It was 07:00PM now since the team had practiced more than usual and spent a lot more time having laughs in the changing room than usual

"Oh no!" Mathew exclaimed before rushing to finish changing

"If you give me the key's I'll lock up and give them to you tomorrow" Ivan said "we are in the same math group, da?"

"Thanks, eh?" Mathew smiled handing the Russian the keys before rushing out .

Suddenly Lovino felt something heavy weighing on his heart.

"Ivan, make sure to watch over him" Lovino whispered "he might need a friend to be there for him tomorrow"

"Why?" Ivan asked

"Just...trust me" Lovino smiled deceptively.

* * *

**...oOo...**

**_And she tied you to her kitchen chair_**

**_And she broke your throne and she cut your hair_**

**_And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah_**

Feliciano looked at himself in the mirror

He had bags under his eyes and his arms were riddled in cuts

_'he loves me'_ Feliciano thought over and over _'he __**loves **__me' _

But why does he do this?

Feliciano then drew a long breath before starting to clean himself up

He was lucky Elizabeta didn't check if he was stable or not anymore but his brother would notice if he kept cutting his arms to ribbons

_'ribbons, ribbons, I can't help it'_ Feliciano thought looking down at his now bandaged arms

"I'll lie, ve~" he sang bringing a smile to his own face forcefully "so that nobody gets worried"

_'he loves me'_ Feliciano thought once more before exciting the bathroom.

**...oOo...**

**i know it's midweek but is saturday and i might be to preoccupied with that to update**

**srsly, it will be all i can think about that day**

**also i really wanted you to know what's going on with feli.**

**i'll try to add a bit more depth on it and write why lovi isn't noticing but it's not really RELEVANT at this point, it'll be relevant in a few more chapters though**

**reveiw and i will be ha happy panda :D**


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